pop-culture for the people

It’s been a rough a rough couple of weeks to be a celebrity!  Who’s next?  Tony Danza?  Paris Hilton?  Yolanda Vega?!  Nobody is safe!

First we’ve got David Carradine who was apparently into some seriously kinky kungfuckery.  Turns out it was his own Five Fingers of Death that done him in.  Unless of course you believe the nonsense his family claims he was trying to uncover some deadly undercover kung fu assassins (no I’m not making this shit up!).

Then Ed McMahon (who now rests peacefully in a hermetically sealed mayonnaise jar, never before seen by human eyes, sealed by Funk and Wagnall’s on their porch since noon today) cashed in his oversized price check a few days ago.  Hopefully he’s playing second fiddle to God these days:

Farrah Fawcett, who lets face it, was famous more for her ability to create many an awkward teenage-boy violation-of-personal-privacy when bedroom doors were opened without knocking, than her ability to fight crime.  I can think of worse ways to go but jeeze, anal cancer?  That’s seriously right up there.

Michael Jackson moon walked off stage and was Gone Too Soon.

And to wrap it all up BILLY MAYS died today too.  I get a sneaking suspicion that heaven is fairly squeaky clean (no nead for Orange Glo, OxiClean or Zorbeez) so I hope he finds a hobby for eternity.  If anything I would have thought Vince “Sham Wow” would have slapchopped his way into the hereafter first (rather than slapchopping hookers).  I guess we’ll be seeing fewer of these great parody videos:

I really hope that’s it for now.  A little too much celebrity death for my liking.  May they all rest in peace.

Film has the power to make us feel and think.  There are many fantastic moments since the dawn of film.  Here’s my top 5 moments in film.  At least the ones I can think of at the moment!

Please note: There are SPOILERS aplenty in this article so if you haven’t seen these movies beware!

5. Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1964)

The ending.  Close tie with the ending (similar in many respects) of Fight Club.

How do you end one of the most interesting black comedy political satire films?  Blow up the world!  Nuclear mutually assured destruction paired with Vera Lynn’s “We’ll Meet Again”; it’s a thing of beauty.  The ending was mirrored closely with the ending of Fight Club though with a very different meaning and way of getting there.

Fun Fact: Slim Pickens was not told this film was to be a satire.  He was instructed to play his character straight.

4. Bladerunner (1982)

“I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die.”

Okay this scene is towards the end of the film and it’s the end of a confrontation between the main antagonist Roy Batty, a “replicant” (a cyborg of sorts) and the protagonist Deckard who’s job it is to hunt rogue replicants.  The replicants have a built in life span and Roy knows his expiration date is about up.  Like humans he wants to understand why they must die and does everything he can to forestall the inevitable.  Ultimately he realizes the futility and accepts his fate.

It’s a surprisingly touching moment for science fiction movie scene between a cop and a robot.  It’s about realizing your mortality and knowing that your memories and life experience will die with you.  Perhaps if Roy spent some of his time writing a therapeutic autobiography instead of staring at interstellar construction yards he wouldn’t have spent the last moments of his life killing people.

3. A Trip To The Moon (Le Voyage dans la lune) (1902)

About halfway into the film when the astronauts land on the moon.  It’s a great scene and one of the most memorable in early film as it is a creative mix of special effects and science fiction with a true narrative (albeit simple).  Watch below or download it here.

Fun Facts: If you were watching MTV during the 90’s you will find this film familiar as the Smashing Pumpkins recreated it for their Tonight, Tonight video.

For those interested in absurdism you might be interested to know that it is also one of the first examples of ‘pataphysics in film.

2. THIS IS CINERAMA (1952)

The Atom Smasher roller coaster scene.  Now I’m not old enough to have seen the roller coaster scene when it first came out but I’ve heard from several people who did that it was breathtaking.  I’ve seen the scene for myself in a clip on the Blu-Ray of How The West Was Won on my big screen TV at home.  It’s an exciting thrill ride on a roller coaster.  If you can imagine watching a screen that is three full size movie theatre screens wide you can start to imagine the experience.

Cinerama was a brand new experience to most movie goers when it debuted in 1952.  In the same way IMAX changed the way films are made and projected Cinerama used three massive synchronized cameras aligned to create a widescreen view of the film.  It was incredibly expensive to make films (as well as project them) so there weren’t many made in the early 3 camera process.  A later process was developed that used a single camera (and single theatre projector) that brought the cost down.

Film started in a square picture format, closer to standard definition television.  Today we take for granted the widescreen format of movies.  Even our televisions are now widescreen (with the transition to widescreen HDTV).  So the next time you are bragging to your friends about your new widescreen home theatre setup thank Cinerama for popularizing the idea of widescreen.

This Is Cinerama was not a particularly great film in that there really isn’t a story, it is essentially a technology demo.  It did however change the way films are made and viewed forever.  Unfortunately the film is not available on home video nor film for that matter.  It was left in legal limbo and it is unknown what will happen to it.  You can see parts of the film and get an idea of the process from the How The West Was Won Blu-Ray though.

Fun Facts: The craze of -orama names like Bowlorama, Discorama etc. were all the result of the popularity of Cinerama.

The Atom Smasher roller coaster was located at Rockaways’ Playland in Queens, NY.  It was torn down in the 80’s and a housing development sits there now.

1. What’s Up Tiger Lily? (1966)

“Woody, would you explain the plot to the audience?”

Okay this is my favorite moment in film history and it’s a great but silly one.  It was during the height of the cold war.  The first four Bond movies had recently been released and spy thrillers were massive box office smashes.  What’s Up Tiger Lily? started as a sloppy Japanese Bond knockoff Woody Allen bought the rights to and redubbed and reedited into a spy film spoof.

We’ve been introduced to our hero, Phil Moscowitz who finds himself in the middle of a plot to steal the recipe for the world’s greatest egg salad from a gangster.  Cut throughout the film are crazy song and dance numbers by the Lovin’ Spoonful.  No, I’m not making this up.  It’s just as weird and wonderful as it sounds.  Then in the middle of the film the movie breaks to an interview with Woody Allen.  The interviewer asks Woody Allen if he would explain just what the hell is going on here.  Woody then simply says, “NO”.  The movie immediately continues its sillyness.

This moment is great because Woody recognizes the insanity but instead of hitting the audience with a sledgehammer of plot he simply says, “figure it out your own damn self”.  How many times do you get frustrated when someone watches a movie and later complains they didn’t get it?  “Star Wars was confusing, I didn’t get it.  Explain to me what happened?”.  NO.

Fun Facts:  Mystery Science Theatre 3000 (and RiffTrax) is in many ways a direct result of this film.

A year later Woody Allen would join a group of comedy heavyweights to help write the original film Casino Royale, a Bond spoof.  Though that film does actually use and name the character James Bond it exists somewhere outside of the realm of Bond canon.

HAVE YOUR OWN TOP MOMENTS IN FILM?  Let us know in the comments!

People always thought I just liked movies with men in loincloths . . . even when I was 5 or 6 . . . but really, it was always about the animals.  I was always known as the kid whose favorite movies as a young child were Clash of the Titans and The Beastmaster, at a time when my sisters were watching Slipper and the Rose (a musical Cinderella, for those unfamiliar with it).  I’ve seen Clash many times since I was a child, and I still love it, though the special effects are kinda funny these days.  I haven’t seen the Beastmaster in a really long time, however, so I decided to watch it again (boy I love Netflix).  So I will share with you my current impressions as a 25 year old compared with the impressions of a 6 year old as I remember them.

Now:  There’s a lot more sex in this than I ever realized . . . witches in the beginning *love* their cauldron. 

Then:  In the scene where the witch magically transfers the in utero Dar from his mother to the belly of the Brahmin cow, I remember being fascinated by the blue stuff that held down the king and queen upset that the cow was killed.

Now:  The adoptive father teaches Dar to sword fight, even though he was quite inept with a sword when fighting the witch.

Then:  The white German Shepard who drags Dar to safety and gets shot for his trouble. I think this started a brief fascination with white German Shepards.

Now:  If he can talk to animals, why doesn’t he just tell all the enemies horses to run away?

Then:  The eagle that made me forever like birds of prey . . . and I was inspired to try to talk to the crows as a kid.  I did manage to become a pretty good mimic of crow noises; a talent that I have, alas, lost in my old age.

Now:  He he he . . . transformation into man in loincloth (kinda Conan-ish) . . . who practices swordplay with a log . . . there is lots of running around playing with swords . . . it’s very silly.

Then:  I always wanted a ferret because of this movie . . . too bad they’re illegal in CA.

Now:  He’s not very original with names . . . so far its Kodo and Podo (the ferrets), I think it was something like Todo for the dog, and Ru (make sure you roll that R) for the Tiger.

Then:  Boy I loved the idea of a tiger as a pet.  I always thought the tiger was supposed to be a black panther, and for some reason they painted a tiger for the part.  I never got that it was supposed to be a black tiger.

Now:  There’s lots of nudity, and Dar is a lech: “You owe me your life, but I’ll accept THIS as payment” and then he kisses her.

Then:  OOOH the bat guys . . . yuck.  I was always freaked out by these guys.

Now:  You know, I’m starting to wonder why my parents actually let me watch this . . .

Then:  I thought the movie ended at the death of the ferret . . . funny.  I do have a vague memory of the creepy bat guys making another appearance though.

So, in final thoughts, this movie has not stood the test of time.  Unlike Clash of the Titans, Legend and Labyrinth (all of which I still find quite entertaining to watch despite being pretty hokey) I don’t think I will ever watch this movie again.  I was enamored with it as a child, but unfortunately it does not have enough to keep me interested now.  The actor that played Dar, despite having a nice body, is just not that good looking (ducking a projectile from Hollywood).

—hathyr