pop-culture for the people

I loved this book.  It was one of those things that you look up on Amazon because it was mentioned in some off-hand way in some article that you now can’t remember, and then added it to your wish list, because why not, and then bought because you needed an extra $8 to qualify for Super-Saver Shipping when pre-ordering the next Harry Potter installment.  Or at least that’s how it happened with me.  At any rate, I loved this book. 

The book tells some familiar and some pretty obscure stories of goddesses, except the author tells them the way they were before Disney got a hold of them.  For instance, did you know that Snow White knew all seven dwarves REALLY well, like in the Biblical sense?   The stories are told in a way that would make the Religious Right cringe because they include all the burps, farts and sex that make the goddesses more human.  Plus the stories are just too damn empowering.  Not to say that all the goddesses featured are the feminist ideal.  There are a number that made really stupid choices, and some that were down right evil.  But that’s the point, the stories are not whitewashed.  The book did have a couple annoying little things, most notably that the author actually wrote “don’t try this at home” in a couple of the stories.  It didn’t really come off as funny, because she actually added it everywhere.  Maybe she had a lawyer reading over her shoulder and nudging once in a while to put one in wherever she may possibly be sued because some idiot does a Jackass-like stunt and blames it on her book.  It made me wonder whom she thought her target audience was, because honestly, its most likely people just like me.  This is what I mean: “Maddened by grief and rage, [Kannaki] wanted to punish the entire city of Madura.  With superhuman strength born of fury, she twisted off her own left breast. (Warning: Do not try this, at home or anywhere!)”  I mean, really, do you think I’m going to even THINK about doing that?  That sort of warning is sprinkled into every other story, or at least it seems that way, and it really started to get on my nerves.  The only other thing that I didn’t like about the book was the tone.  It was written in a very casual, sitting around a campfire telling stories kind of way.  This really is perfect for telling myths, but still it got on my nerves once in a while.  However, it didn’t really detract from the overall experience.

In addition to the stories, there are some little facts sprinkled here and there, which I enjoy immensely.  I’m a sucker for Pop-Up Video too.  This one was a particularly good gem: “The Aztec goddess Coatlicue was another one to avoid if you happened to be a guy.  She wore a necklace of skulls, like Kali, and a skirt made from the severed penises of her castrated lovers.”  Like I said, it was a fun read.

—hathyr

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It’s been a while since I’ve been moved to write about any particular topic. I’ve seen some poo-stained movies like Adam Sandler’s Mr. Deeds and I watch too much true crime stories on Court TV and I’ve read lots of Green Lantern comics, but I haven’t felt the need to subject our small but loyal audience to more of my stupid recycled jokes and barely cohesive plot summaries. But, to get to the point, I’m becoming very enamored with Hunter S. Thompson. Hunter is a lunatic, and a very amusing one at that, but the main thing that draws me to his work is his savage honesty and his willingness to put his head in the lion’s mouth of politics, bikers, or what-not. Hunter is a rare monster in the world of journalism, and while many many people might be happy to dismiss him as a madman, just remember that madness is sometimes the only solution to dealing with an insane world. Yup. Let’s take a look at Hunter and what he does. Maybe we (you the reader and me the typing monkey) can make some sense of it together. It’ll be an adventure into Gonzo-Town, so join me, won’t you?

Fear & Loathing on the Campaign Trail ‘72

Hunter follows the campaign trail of the Democratic nominees for President and then the Nixon / McGovern ‘72 race. Politics are confusing, I readily admit I know very little about the jargon or actual process, but reading this has helped me gain much, much insight into the system. Hunter makes everything less scary and more lively with his interjections through a years worth of stalking politicions like a mangy starved wolf. Hunter shares his fears of having his arms broken by Secret Service agents, threatens to set a girl’s hair on fire, and gives personal assessments of various politician’s drug addictions. He suffers two physical breakdowns during the cousrse of writing this book, and I can’t say I blame him. My personal schedule of insomnia and caffine-intake pales in comparison to that of the very least campaign organizer or journalist following the election. Hunter flays the various candidates and figures without mercy, and he is not afraid to burn bridges. It’s amazing the Nixon camp let him within 2,000 yards of the man. I’m also shocked noone strapped him down to give him drug tests, or perhaps locked him up and threw away the key for his social faux paus (fer example giving a psychopath his press pass and allowing him to harass Democat “Big” Ed Muskie). As always Hunter is highly opinionated, and even if you think he’s entirely off-base it’s refreshing to read his fearless ramblings. One of the most touching moments comes when Vietnam veterans make protests during Nixon speeches. Key scenes are depitecd by Ralph Steadman, an artist who seems like a modern day George Grosz. Politician on politician violence is also something to behold. Slight indescretions can lead to career homicide. This is how the big boys play. Hunter comes away from 1972 and Nixon being re-elected deciding that America is a nation of “used car-dealers” who get the government they deserve. Hunter suffered breakdowns and being blinded by tear-gas and hair-loss to write this book, so you should check it out.

Generation of Swine

This is a collection of 2-page columns Hunter wrote in the 1980s. When I think of the 1980s’ I think of He-Man and Popples and snap-bracelets…but you can bet that none of these things are the focus of this book. Hunter covers America vs. Khadafi, Ed Meese’s war on pornography, the Iran-Conta Affair, and lots and lots of examination of Regan. There’s also some great coverage of a Soldiers of Fortune convention,  a brief foray into starting a Salvage buisness, and Hunter’s warfare against local wildlife. This vignette book is perfect for those with short-attention spans (I’m looking at you Hollywood), but the collection also forms a cohesive picture of life in America during the 1980s. Llike I said I don’t think I watched 2 solid hours of the news during the decade of the 1980s. As an adolescent I was preoccupied with cartoons. I guess I could activate my Time Tunnel and yell at my 10 year old self for not paying attention to real life, but honestly I can barely cope with the things Hunter writes about the 80s even now. Ugly, ugly stuff, despite the fact that Hunter makes several hopeful (and horribly inaccurate) predictions about where the country will go in the 90s. Much like Fear & Loathing On the Campaign Trail, the book ends on a note of despair, as Hunter becomes further disillusioned with society. I’m getting worn down from reading this…I have my fingers crossed that World Peace is announced sometime this week. Please?

Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas (the movie)

Well, goddamn. I admire many talented writers, actors and directors, but there’s one class in movies that rises above the rest. Some people make magic with what they do. Christopher Walken does it, Chris Farley does it (hey, you try being amusing when saddled with dogshit movies. Ref: Any other SNL alumni who’s attempted to be a movie star). And Terry Gilliam does it. Boy howdy does he. The task of translating Hunter’s gonzo journalism into a movie is a Herculean task, but he comes through. Some stories are not meant to be translated into cinema, and before seeing this I would have been sorely tempted to include Hunter into this category. Gilliam is a master of taking pure, streamlined madness and putting a direction to it and filtering it though his own unmistakeable vision. Fear & Loathing is the story of Hunter Thompson (aka Raoul Duke) (Johnny Depp) and his attorney Dr. Gonzo (a large Samoan) raising Hell in pursuit of finding the American Dream. Initially Hunter is covering a dirt-race of some sort, but after this assignment proves to be a bore he explores the wildlife of Vegas. Compared to his attorney Hunter is sane and level headed, and most of his problems stem from his attorney breaking every rule of Vegas (don’t screw over the locals, don’t brandish knives at Cameron Diaz). They attend a policeman’s anti-drug conference and Hunter finally suffers a breakdown after an inhuman amount of debauchery. It’s a roller coaster and no synopsis can come close to describing the frenetic pace. I was tired just watching this movie. Well, we’ve already established that I think this movie is funny as all Hell, but for a simple funny drug movie you could just tune in to Comedy Centrals reruns of any Cheech & Chong flick, or you could watch the god-awful Half Baked.This movie rises above the superficial madness to take on the heady task of finding the American Dream. Hunter reminices about the freak and drug cultures of San Francisco in the 1960s, something he thought would usher in a new era in America of peace, but in the end he rejects it for producing a whole generation of mental crippples. Does Fear & Loathing simplify things too much? Attempt to provide easy answers? I don’t think so, but at the same time I’m not sure I really comprehend the message, I need to watch it a few more times. I enjoy analyzing things to death. Gilliam’s non-linear forms of storytelling demand multiple watchings, so that’s ok. If you’re not up for that kind of thing, just appreciate this movie on a surface level. Johnny Depp is the bees knees, and he nails Hunter’s speech patterns perfectly, the numberous LSD and Mescaline hallucinations are visually compelling (I’ve been assured by local dopefiends that the hallucinations are an accurate representation of “tripping”), and an all-star cast of cameos (Cameron Diaz as a racecar groupie, Tobey Maguire as a balding hippie, Christina Ricchi as a young artist, and Hunter himself in a bizarre flashback) are nice easter eggs. I dare you not to laugh at Hunter screaming at a mob accusing them of killing Jesus, or semi-shrewdly conning his way out of paying a traffic ticket (apparently officers won’t respect you if you pull over when they start flashing sirens, you have to make them chase you to earn their trust. Don’t try this at home readers, Hunter is a professional outlaw). Gilliam takes a bleak story, but lets the hilarious madness shine through. Same thing with his films Brazil and 12 Monkeys. Armaggedon, the dark side of society, the end of the world….finding a will to smile in the face of this is not easy. You try it bub.  Watch this movie and love it. Oh yeah, there’s a monkey in it too. That’s an automatic 50 gogoplex gamillion extra stars right there.

Notes and Miscelleny
What have we learned, huh? Hunter has lived an interesting life. Some people can run around all crazy and still be respected by their peers (writers, love ‘em I do). Uh….the American Dream is in the seedy world of Vegas circa 1970? You know, I’m not sure what exactly it is we’ve learned here today. I guarentee these books are educational. 100% Grade A literature they is. Um…I already knew that Terry Gilliam is a visionary. So….there’s a lot to be learned here I suppose. Like…Future can’t write a conclusion to save his life. Well, I guess you might have an idea from the tone of this review weather or not you’d be interested in learning more about Hunter S. Thompson. So, consult your local library.

-Future

I thought I’d share some of the finest quotes from our dear friend Kurt.

Quotable Kurt

All I want is coffee and to be successful in art.

You can use the claw machine like a calendar, because its seasonal.
Ah, a love struck alien and a Scooby Doo, it must be close to Valentines day! - On Denny’s Claw Machine

Why do my sox smell? I hate the world.  -On technical advances

“I’m running out of things to put in my mouth”

“Horses may be majestic but they stink like poo”

“Painters are poetic and romantic.  I’m just some schnook who makes something out of cardboard”

“House paint is where it’s at!”

“You can’t be decadent with clothes on”

“When I go to sleep, that’s a blessing”

“It’s funny to see Kristen kill things” -Kurt about zombie killing

“Hey, you try being drunk everyday and see how competent you are”

“Oh my God!  I’m hideous!”

“The world will be a better place when it starts appreciating me”

“Is it discrimination to hope that ugly people never reproduce?”

“Look!  He’s in Zen!  Or he’s really tired”

“I thought buffalos were becoming extinct, but it’s pretty awesome that you still can eat them”
-On Neptune’s Buffalo Burgers

“I don’t like change.  Change in my pocket, or in my life”

“What kind of damned artist am I?!  I can’t use scissors and I don’t have any observational skills!”

“Art’s all the exercise I need”

“You’ve saved my cheese!”

“I sorta miss you calling me retarded” -Kurt to Kristen

“I’m too wary of life now to be happy”

“Go clean yourself off and leave me to be a genius”

“Lasers!  If these got in the wrong hands!” -After discovering how CD players work

“You should be honest when you like something.  I like corndogs, you like spankings” -Kurt to a friend

“I brought a banana” -Kurt at dinner at Denny’s

“You can hang gerbils from your nipple rings” -Kurt to Kristin

“I’ve decided I want to be rich.  Not really rich, but enough so that I can eat at Denny’s every day”

“Grease is pretty sexy”

“Ping” -The sound at the end of the universe.

“Lab animals get cancer from stubbing their toe”

“Ooh, Yanni, yum, yum, yum, gimme some” -Text from a bizarre cartoon Kurt created

“The things they can do with semen these days are amazing!  It’s not just for girls anymore.”

“I would have liked to have gone to Canada…  I meant Japan”

“Call me ‘The Future’”

“They knew about elephants back then?!” -Kurt referring to the time of the Wild West

“At least I can be tough in art”

“I need pictures of cancerous lungs”

“This shield is going to protect me from all sorts of stuff” -Explaining some of his art

“I thought that was the natural property of coffee” -After burning himself on a coffee pot

“I want to get into photography for the wrong reasons” -On Nude Photography

“If I can’t distract myself with booze at least I can distract myself with hookers shooting zombies.”

Bret’s an excellent wrestler but you can’t get Shakespeare out of a sack of shit. -On Wrestling

Getting nowhere takes forever. -Hmm…

I don’t have money because I’m not a pharaoh. -?

What about Jews? Jews like chicken. -On the unfairness of KFC closed on Easter

Then again, today kids are only scared of hard work and herpes… -read his review of The Turn of the Screw

Yeah get me some gay guys. I’ll put them to work. -On equal opportunity artistic employment (ala Warhol)

You try licking cotton for half an hour. -Hmm… again…

Quotable Friends

“Fuck you Dan” -Wes

“Smells Like barbeque” -Kristin “That’s the smell of genius” -Kurt

“What’s that knife for?  Cuttin’ stuff.” -Story told by Kristen

“Look Kurt, It’s nature” -Jerry to Kurt

“I’m a goddamn genius!” -Scott to Kurt

“A pox on you!” -Jerry to the world

“Ooh, I got punched in the face” -Wes

“We always make such messes when we’re here” -Kristen

“I don’t want monkey arms!” -Kristen

“That’s the sweet taste of cheap” -Dan about Kurt’s Wine brand wine

“I’m not crippled, I’m just pregnant” -Some stupid girl sitting in the smoking section of Denny’s

“You’re not witty, you’re an asshole” -Kristen to Kurt

“That’s Buddhism” -Kevin

“Grits?  Wuzzat?  Fried oatmeal?” -Overheard from a stupid hick at Denny’s

“That’d be like having scruples instead of sausage!” -Same hick

“I’m hardly dressed to wrestle a monkey Kurt” -Scott

“Flossing makes me want to have rough sex.” -Marcy

“Life is hard, so is cheese.” -Hartwick Security (This is their Official Mantra)

“All life is jerked on the end of idiot strinqs” -Bill Shakespeare

“I prefer to think that God is not dead, just drunk.” -John Huston