Here’s a chat system for MvsR if ya want to use it.  It’s Java though, so it sucks generally.  But do whatever with it for all I care…


Top Story!

World’s Most Sickeningly Cute Reporter Katie Couric says “Check your poopshoot regularly for assrot!”  Thanks Katie!  Thank God I’m not a morning person because I can’t stand looking at you.

In other news…

One thing that pisses me off to no end is that videogame companies can’t figure out for the life of themselves how to make games for women.  No, not girly Barbie games, but stuff girls and women can enjoy.  And I don’t mean like this.

Why I hate the Intarweb: Reason #2390 and Reason #3602.  As promised, here are a few other examples of Why I hate Japan: Reason #2893906, Reason #298209.  Why I hate crazed religious weirdos: Your Computer = Satan.  Why I hate people in general: Reason #89319.

Stuff I love: Nintendo’s NES turns 20, Family Guy, Still Crazy After All These Years, Bullshido: Martial Arts Discussion, Geocaching, Real World: A Review, The Mystery of Britney’s Breasts, Preserving VHS Recordings For Another 20 Years?, Robots.

Comics…

The Unh! Project: A Collection of Gutteral Moans from comics, Mickey Mouse Trying to Commit Suicide, CO-CREATOR ALFRED GOUGH TALKS SMALLVILLE, UNCANNY ARTIST, RON GARNEY, AGENT X DORKIN, MIKE ALLRED SINKS TEETH INTO MR. GUM, ELEPHANTMEN: LADRONN AND STARKINGS.

If you missed it…

NPR Interviews: Allan Moore, COMAn: 20 Years Later, The Yugo is back!  Scorsese to produce mini series for SciFi, The Disappearance of Saturday Morning, Craptacular Matrix 2 On DVD before Revolutions, Fall down go boom, The Sims: Making Magic, Paper shredding ain’t what it used to be.

Movies/TV news…

OH GOD PLEASE STRIKE THESE PAGANS DOWN WITH YOUR MIGHTY SWORD OF INTERGALACTIC JUSTICE.

NBC May Spin Off ‘Friends’ Character Joey
Matt LeBlanc is likely to star in a Friends spinoff based on his Joey Tribbiani character when the long-running sitcom finally fades after next season, published reports said today (Monday). The Hollywood Reporter reported that negotiations are “accelerating” between NBC and Warner Bros. TV on the one hand and LeBlanc on the other. Meanwhile, today’s New York Times said that NBC plans to present several all-time-favorite Friends episodes, voted on by viewers, during the coming season, which will consist of only 18 original episodes versus a typical season’s 24.

I love it.  I wish he cut my ears off and poured gasoline all of my head so I wouldn’t have to listen to Sean’s idiotic political crap.  Love both of them as actors, but there does seem to be a ring around that particular gene pool…

Sean Penn’s Brother Brawls with Midget
Sean Penn’s actor brother Chris Penn was booted out of hip Hollywood spot the Skybar - for fighting with a midget. The Reservoir Dogs star was involved in a brutal punch-up with a much smaller man, according to American tabloid the National Enquirer. The paper reports that after drinking with pals at the poolside, 5 foot 10 inch tall Chris was fighting through the crowd of patrons when he collided with a man who measured just 3 foot 5 inch. The publication quotes a source as saying, “Four-letter words exchanged, then they started pounding each other - and the midget ended up in the pool. It was surreal… Chris, who weighs over 200 pound, savaging this tiny man!” As guards dragged him away, he reportedly roared, “Let me knock out that midget!” before his opponent spat, “F*** you and your entire family, loser!” Onlookers say a furious Chris was swiftly ejected from the hotspot.

If you missed it…

And Now For Something Completely Different?
Former Monty Python star Eric Idle is due to direct and co-star in Remains of the Piano, which he also wrote, Screen International reported today (Thursday). The British trade publication said that the spoof of costume drama Remains of the Day, which starred Anthony Hopkins, will star Geoffrey Rush in the lead role of Hopkins, a British aristocrat. The cast list is provocative in itself: Orlando Bloom is playing a character named Daniel Day Lewis. Patrick Stewart will appear as Obie Ben Kingsley. Alfred Molina will play Mussolini. Anjelica Huston’s character is Countess Von Kunst and Idle himself plays Frank the Mover.

Buscemi Arrested in Fire Station Protest
Quirky character actor Steve Buscemi has been arrested during a protest over the closure of a New York fire station. The star, best known for off-beat films like The Big Lebowski, Fargo and Reservoir Dogs, locked elbows with politicians in an attempt to keep the city from closing one of its oldest firehouses. The 45-year-old, who worked as a firefighter from 1980 to 1984, calls the closures “irresponsible” and “dangerous”, adding, “This is compromising the safety of all the communities where the firehouses are closing.” Opened in 1855, Engine 204’s firehouse bears the letters ‘BFD engine 4’, dating from the late 18th century, when Brooklyn was a separate city to New York and horses that pulled the steam pumper were stabled across the street. City officials have justified the closings, expected to save $7 million a year, by saying population shifts have made the firehouses unnecessary, and that emergency response times, measured in seconds, will not be slowed.

God suggests investing in an answering machine:

‘Bruce Almighty’ Leaves Woman with Hellish Torment
Jim Carrey’s new comedy Bruce Almighty has caused a Florida woman to suffer constant harassment - because her number was given out in the movie as a direct line to God. In the film, Carrey stars as a regular guy who receives the powers of God - played by Morgan Freeman - after complaining too much about life. God tries to reach Bruce Nolan, Carrey’s character, by repeatedly leaving a phone number on his pager. But instead of the usual 555 prefix most TV shows and films use in phone numbers, God’s number is Pinellas Park glassmaker Dawn Jenkins’ mobile phone number. Jenkins, who has been getting about 20 calls per hour, with callers asking for God before hanging up complains, “What am I to do? I e-mailed Universal Studios about this issue… I think I want payment.” Jenkins isn’t alone in her plight. The number on Carrey’s pager also matches the one to a South Carolina woman who says she’s been “getting aggravated to death” by the incessant calling. It also matches the number for a call center to a group of five Colorado talk-radio stations. Ron Nickel, senior vice president for the Radio Colorado Network, says, “My receptionist is going to go crazy.”

Dali and Disney were definitely smoking crack back then…

Dali-Disney Movie Makes Its 60-Year-Delayed Debut
Sixty years after it was conceived, a film representing the collaboration of Walt Disney and surrealist artist Salvador Dali has debuted at the International Animated Film Festival in Annecy, France. The film includes a 17-second sequence that was completed by Dali himself when he worked at the Disney studios in Burbank, CA in the mid-1940s. The rest of the film was created from sketches and storyboards that he produced, together with Fantasia animators John Hench and Bob Cormack, before the project was abandoned. Britain’s Scotsman newspaper quoted festival director Serge Bromberg as saying that the completed film had given Disney back “a bit of its history.”

That’s it for now you jerks.  Go find me a job so I can buy beer and twizzlers like my neighbor Phil Lumpkin.  He sits around all day and watches the Speed channel.  Yeah, he’s awesome, but his house smells like a catbox.  Oh yeah, and he’s 400 pounds and ride around on a Rascal scooter.  Where do you get those things anyway?