pop-culture for the people

1987-1988 Consistency is Optional

As far as old TV shows go, nothing raises as many eyebrows and sparks such a massive array of “what the fuck"s as The Charmings, a show detailing the silly life of Snow White and Prince Charming set in the modern world. Sure, it sounds cute and ‘charming’, and logic isn’t something I ever considered while watching Tansformers or GI Joe. Still, this show moved from odd to worse as other fairy tales invaded, each with awkward twists. 
Let’s review our cast of community theater rejects in High School drama club outfits. Featured in the nearby photo is our beautiful, pure Snow White and her dumbass Uncle Joey from Full House lookalike husband Eric Charming. You see, in this tale, the Charmings were married and had two bratty kids who wear chainmail and gallivant all day. 

The evil Queen in green featured at the top of the page is a sexually repressed weirdo who no longer wants to kill Snow White, but instead finds amusement in taunting and confusing her. The Queen’s bitchery and sub-evil plots amount to little more than pranks the effects of which last a half hour at the most. Apparently, Snow White takes it very well and never gets pissed off, because she’s damn stupid and all, and not a soul is pissed that the evil queen made them sleep for a thousand years or whatever. 

Of course the best part of the show was the wise-cracking mirror who laughed at all the Queen’s plots and offered sarcastic banter that kept the show vaguely watchable even at its most confusing. Doesn’t everyone need an appliance that talks and insults you? Hey, but the mirror is a person, with thoughts and feelings and a whole life out there in the mystic mirror world. Thus, Worst of Show salutes the mirror as the first and best outside critic of all the dumb shit in this show.

And yes, there is a dwarf. Not only do the Charmings have all the medieval crap like swords and spell books when they awake from their stupid plot device, I mean magical slumber, they also have a silly dwarf servant. Isn’t he cute?

I don’t really want to get into any of the details. Let’s just say I don’t care. The slutty Cinderella who tried to get into Prince Charming’s tights was mildly amusing. Jack climbing off his beanstalk in their front lawn was all right. It was all very…. well, charming, indeed, that is for the time period between late 1987 and mid 1988. 

As for Paul Winfield, the lovable mirror….

Check out Touched by an Angel and other shows I’d never watch. At one point, he was on Star Trek: The Next Gen. I didn’t notice.

In fact, if you’re interested. Check out this website and vote for this show to be added to the stock of boredom on TV Land. At least, we’ll get to see the mirror make the best of a bad situation. 

Hell, if I were stuck on the wall all day at the beckon call of a total bitch, I’d….. well, there are worse jobs. Someone has to clean the nudie booth.
-Hazzard