I have an addiction.  It sneaks up on me when I’m least expecting it.  For the entire week I don’t think about it, then on Mondays I have to consciously try to ignore it.  But then 9pm rolls around and I can’t help myself.  What is this horrible addiction, you ask?  It’s . . .

The Swan!

I know, I know, I’m a modern feminist, I shouldn’t debase myself by watching such anti-feminist drivel.  Believe me I know.  But yet I’m so fascinated.  So in an attempt to convince myself to not watch it tonight, I decided to compile a list of pros and cons.

imagePro: There is nothing else on that particularly interests me, and if I don’t watch TV I have to face all the loads of studying I really should be doing.
Con: About ten minutes into the show I start thinking about what surgery I could have done.

Pro: It is entertaining.
Con: About fifteen minutes into the show I remember that I’m poor and start prioritizing the surgery I want.

Pro: I can do other things while watching since it only requires a minor portion of my brain to pay attention to it.
Con: About twenty minutes into the show I remember that I’m in school for a profession that makes enough money that I could conceivably get the surgery I want.

Pro: I should keep up with pop culture in an effort to stay young . . . or something.
Con:About thirty minutes into the show I start rationalizing why, at the age of 35, I should get the surgery I want, since I should be able to afford it all by then, especially if they have payment plans.  And that would be just around the time that I would really need it (apparently).

Pro: Um . . I’m running out of pros . . . It’s entertaining . . . oh, wait, I said that already.
Con: About forty-five minutes into the show I start checking myself out in the bathroom mirror to see how fat I’ve gotten this year (and boy am I starting to feel fat).

Pro: Um, yeah, nothing is coming to mind.
Con: By the end of the show I feel too flat-chested, too fat, too pale, with too many spider-veins and too many acne scars.  My hard won self esteem in teetering on the brink, and I’m ready to go nuts with hair dye, makeup and all those ridiculously expensive face-fixing creams, lotions and peels.  I don’t even know what a “peel” is, but I don’t like the images that come to mind.

image Ok, so in conclusion, The Swan is very bad for women and girls everywhere.  It is everything I stand against and against everything I stand for.  It objectifies women and asserts that all women should conform to some amorphous “ideal.”  It asserts that life can change for the better simply by altering your physical appearance, and that this is ok!  It makes a mockery of the mental health profession by asserting that people can make drastic psychological “recoveries” in only 12 weeks of “therapy.”

And at 9pm tonight I will try my best to leave the TV off and go tackle that Pharmacology section I’ve been putting off. 

—hathyr